bollywood · random thoughts

Lottery – new Bollywood masala story

I was waiting for a bus when I saw a truck pass by with a poster that screamed ‘Gift a lottery to your friends and loved ones’ I wondered, would we actually do that? What if I gift a lottery to my boss and he wins a million dollars! Would I think, I never had that money in the first place? Or would I feel like Destiny slapped me hard? I would gift a lottery and would be relieved if and only if, my gift recipient didn’t win. But would that be an unfair or a pragmatic perspective? While my idle brain was working overtime for imaginary solutions, I stopped at the realization that this would be great masala for making a movie. I could bring in all the usual formula and weave a story around the lottery. Set in a semi urban background, the movie goes like this:

Hero is an intelligent but poor man in love with rich villain’s daughter. (Mental note: Check Childhood love sentiment)

Villain has a partner and partner has baddie son (we call him baddie junior). (Obviously) Baddie Jr lusts for the heroine. Hero’s dad works for villain as accountant (No Tally type software used by villain – that’s his profile, ok!)

Villain’s wife is affectionate lady with Colgate smile – mostly seen in local temple carrying plate full of flowers and sweets for deity. She is also accompanied by local girls. One day, she buys lottery ticket and gives to hero’s mother at the end of a Lakshmi Puja scene. (Mental note: Throw in a religious song to touch religious sentiment and show heroine in an expensive saree with lots of jewelry – that should appeal to both genders and all ages)

Hero works hard, is ethical and pursuing post graduate studies via correspondence. Hero’s friend is the comedian. Comedian works at villain household as cook and tries to woo the gardener. (Mental note: Need quality comedy scenes – no double meaning dialogues or low cut blouse for gardener)

Obviously the lottery is won – hero’s family is now mega rich – 5 crores is the bumper New Year Prize from Lakshmi Maa Lottery Services! Happy dream song shown (Mental note: Show each family member’s dream and how it gets fulfilled, both senti and comedy elements to be present – sprinkle heroine dream sequence in Switzerland, Paris or Egypt). Grateful hero’s parents wish to give half of the winnings to villain as token of thanks. Villain learns of his wife’s gift and seethes with anger! Very very angry at his wife! Plots to kill hero’s family with partner and baddie junior! Takes all money and beats them up. Meanwhile, poor hero has gone to city to collect degree and being the good boy, even turns down friend’s offer to take friend’s cell phone (Mental note: If required, this cell phone sentiment loop can be cut out). Villains have given notice to hero’s mom and dad to run away from village before dawn. (Mental note: add hero’s sister in the family for bringing in the bro-sis sentiment and for getting beaten up by baddies, if required. Depending on budget availability sis can be hot item chick or a struggling but sexy actress or even yesteryear heroine trying for comeback if yesteryear heroine refuses villain’s wife role)

Sunlight also brings bright post graduate hero back from city. His world has undergone complete transformation. On the way back in town bus, he also dreamed of a song with heroine (Mental note: that has to be in an urban setting to showcase superior modern day dancing skills of hero and heroine). Reality strikes: Baddie junior is about to hurriedly get married to heroine. Hero torn between love for girl and love for family – fight scene! Hero kicked out but with comedian and his new girlfriend’s (obviously it’s the gardener) help, hero and heroine elope! Movie switches to action gear and next few scenes are full of chase sequences! (Mental note: Get Hollywood experts for such scenes or go for Gilli like scenes depending on budget) One group of villains capture hero’s family and another group is busy chasing the lead stars. Hero uses brain and escapes a blockade (Mental note: need to think of an innovative masala scene here – hmm, got to order few Korean movies from Netflix)

Hero is finally captured – after a brief fight scene! All stakeholders are together on screen with the villains. Hero family united with hero – in villain’s den – a cave with red color background and lighting. Hero side – nobody wants money, only love, peace, togetherness – whole nine yards of family sentiment! Meanwhile comedian and his girl take care of villain’s wife who has fallen sick. (Mental note: She is 99% asleep and is shown praying – lips move in slow motion and fingers lend low but visible kinetic energy to rudraaksh mala)

Baddie has the heroine but latter slaps former and runs to hero – she also does not want money at all. Activation of lachrymal glands is followed by dialogues where she says she can cook and stay in a small house with loving hero, his parents (and sis, if applicable). Villain’s turn to get moved to tears and learn important lesson – after all, heroine is his only daughter and apple of his eye. Family is important, money is waste! Sob sob, all unite. Villain drops sharp weapon like aruvaal (Indian sword) to the ground and is hugged by daughter. Rushes to wife, who wakes up in time and smiles, tears of joy flowing and thanking the Lord (Mental note: Lord should be Ram / Krishna / Shiva for universal appeal. This scene emphasizes the divine chamatkar sentiment – Check!. Second Mental note: Wah wah!! What an idea!!)
Villain partner and baddie get frustrated and try to act smart, pull out guns and enter lots of their flunkies. Flunkies are in green and black uniform and start fighting only to get beaten up – villain also is on hero’s side, hero’s dad also joins in, ex-villian’s nice wife is back to praying and even comedian and gardener show kung fu skills – heroine also gets to beat up 2-3 baddies. Our action hero shines in all these scenes – shows biceps, triceps, abs in the Climax! (Mental note: Hollywood action director should do his best. As it is no work in recession for Hollywood, so he better impress Desi population!) Cops arrive! Repeat of title song and all live happily ever after. Comedian gets to put arm around gardener – everybody giggles and THE END flashes with frozen group photo image.

Punch dialogue: Life is a lottery. Winning it is in your hands!

Aah, my bus stops at downtown and I can’t type more on my blackberry. I have typed more than usual because of the rare traffic screwup in the tunnel! Hope Ram Gopal Varma or Manirathnam or somebody from movie world reads this story, decides to make a movie and asks me to write story in detail, another story and another – and of course I pray to get lots of money too!

Update:: The gardener shall be called Malini. The name Maalini is very sweet and has all the qualities needed for the role. The name has Maal (means hot babe) and has Maali (gardener in hindi) in her name.


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