random thoughts

Disappearing thoughts

To appreciate beauty one needs an eye keen,
For what is unseen also needs to be seen.
To appreciate love one needs a heart clean,
Clean enough to see what the love in others mean

In my attempt at poetry, I got a sudden wave of excitement and jotted down the above lines about 4 weeks ago. About 3 weeks ago, when I was in a plane with my laptop stowed up in the overhead bin, I had thought of the next 8 lines and was very excited about it. But I was too lazy to take the laptop and type or even take a pen and paper to write what I had thought. It has been over 3 weeks and I just cannot remember what I had thought then.

There are so many times that we think of an idea – maybe related to something you can post a blog on, a short story, an idea for a movie script, something you want to say to somebody or whatever but 5 minutes later, it is completely erased from your memory. All that you can remember was that it was a great thought that entered your house of thoughts and left without a trace, using some exit door you never knew existed, stealing a piece of mental peace forever. But the mind keeps going back to, what the hell was I thinking? Any clues? Nothing whatsoever seems to help remember what that was. Sometimes, you do remember and feel excited that you got it, phew! But realize that maybe it was not what you had thought earlier. There is this seed of doubt that is sowed in your head and your uncertainty about the perfect match of past thought (what seemed like you had pressed shift delete on the virtual memory keyboard) and recovered thought (recovered through application of tools like vigorous shaking of head, tapping head, immersing head in deep thought, searching for it in the infinite capacity of the natural hard disk in the head without a specific search string) is eating your head. Was this the right search output or was I really thinking something else? There is no way to prove the match and it is totally left to your left brain to play tricks on you and command it to either accept or reject the new old thought.
It takes seconds, sometimes days or even months for me to give up some searches like this completely. Just like when we open the task manager on our machine and see processes or applications that you would not know were running, our brain has so many thoughts running in parallel without our knowledge, it’s simply amazing!
Time for a restart!

p.s: Getting older is not fun 😦


3 thoughts on “Disappearing thoughts

  1. Multiple thoughts that run in parallel
    Will attack like storm before the lull

    Floating delicately like soap bubble
    Lost for ever if you are not nimble


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