random thoughts

We are the Pittsburgh Stealers

We never get invited to parties. We just go and take what is available. Some call it stealing and if and when we are caught, do not hesitate to beat us to death. One small morsel of food from a huge pile can also hurt the men who will never share with us. We can hurt them but they hit back and we hit back stronger, then they hurl whatever they can grab to hurt us, with the intention of murdering us. There is no concept of catching us and handing us over to the police or sentencing us to punishment in a court of law. Our families have endured this injustice for ages and lived this way for ages. This is exactly how we are going to be, we know that and that is what makes us stronger. Government policies and plans around us mean more of us will die than receive any benefits.
Last Friday, I saw a group of 15 men spreading a huge banquet of amazing food – pizzas, cakes, biryanis, kabas and what not. They uncorked bottles of champagne and began to celebrate somebody’s triumph. Not sure whether they already knew that Force India F1 team would finish second in Belgian Grand Prix. But the celebrations were akin to what Mallya threw on Sunday.
My friend and I hid behind the curtain and waited for the right opportunity to steal some food and run off to feed our children. After a while, the men were talking more loudly, even the ones who had been quiet began to get up and shake their legs in what seemed like an apology of a disco dance. My friend grew impatient and slowly rushed towards a pizza, when nobody seemed to be looking. But one of the relatively sober party animals spotted him and hurled a glass at him. It hit my friend’s left leg but he still nibbled on a piece of the pizza, coughed at the high spice levels and tried his best to escape and come back to me. By this time, 3 more boys joined and with whatever they could hold, like a stick, the champagne bottle and even bare hands ran in all directions to kill my friend. I watched helplessly and all I could do was pray.
My friend is an expert who kept cool, maneuvered his path expertly and escaped. I am risk averse and just fled from the scene. We had already planned on our exit route, the narrow gap between the slightly ajar door and the wall that opened into the balcony.
What a life, we flies lead. And men don’t even allow us to feed on resources that are rightfully ours.
We have a meeting tomorrow to discuss on how we can carry more viruses and attack those boys, who could have killed my friend in front of my eyes. We want to avenge the deaths of King Fly and Queen Fly, who were crushed to death by a man’s shoe some days back. So far, our partnership with pigs has been successful and we are doing a great job carrying the swine flu virus. We look forward to more such partnerships with different animals and attack the bloody humans and obliterate them from the face of this earth.

p.s: I am a Steelers fan myself, so my fellow fans, please dont beat me now 🙂


4 thoughts on “We are the Pittsburgh Stealers

  1. You flies should try the birds again … they seemed to be active for some time but it seems they have gone into hibernation (I know birds don’t hibernate,but still) of late.
    Also try specific species this time – like the crow. It would enable you to have a wider reach,as crows are mostly present in densely populated areas.

    Ranga: Bird flu, mad cow, crazy crow, dog fever, cat cold, fish drown, rat plague … various options are being considered 🙂 But mankind is our target for being so man-un-kind 😉

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