Cricket · Peelasophy · random thoughts

IPL Mela – a full course meal

At the risk of being clichéd, I avoided posting anything on IPL topic. But here I am, penning down some of my thoughts and discussions on this badly bruised and beaten to pulp topic!

Geographically speaking, all cricket playing nations and wherever Indians are, i.e. everywhere, Modis Operandi threatens to transform the lives of many, especially its big boss, Lalit Modi. Anybody who shook a hand or leg with him in the last 25 years is suddenly under media’s omnipresent hand held scanners. From IPL to GPL (loosely translated, GPL = Kick on the soft posterior side!), it sure has been a sudden change in fortunes of gargantuan magnitude. The public is savouring a full course meal dished out from media chefs. First there was the Kochi cooing appetiser served deliciously by mixing Japanese delicacy Sushi and Indian egg dish, SunAnda (Anda or eggs, roasted under the Sun). SunAnda: What a useless PJ! Or should we say, Wow, What a Silly Point, just to introduce a cricketing flavour? Better still, make it (Youngistan ka) Wow! What a Silly Point!, in line with IPL style of branding and advertising.

We all know that Sonia sent a MMS (our PM, that is) and commanded Shashi to step down. Before we could conclude that not every story could possibly have a tweet ending, Shashi tweeted again and let the nation know the root cause of his (Yuvraj like) cheap dismissal. [Note ‘Yuvraj like’ is another cunning attempt to hone brand building skills like DLF Maximum]. They could not afford to see a minister get close to a woman whose name included the dreaded letters, NDA??!! Suna Pushkar, she is now, tweets Shashi from his swank Alleppey houseboat. He also announced that his name has been changed to Shashi ThaRoorbach, after consulting with the world famous nameologist from Iceland, Whjats-ihn-ja-jnam [pronounced with all the J’s silent], also commonly referred to as W15.
[Interestingly, the meaning of Roorbach is: a false and more or less damaging report circulated for political effect]
From Lalit Modi’s perspective, the event has yet again been a grand hit. IPL has achieved roughly 1219.87 % CAGR, one of the fastest growths ever seen in just 3 years [ok, I don’t know the true growth rate / CAGR figures and am lazy to google it. Moreover, my Chennai based BCCI contacts do not share data as they are busy negotiating with Mallya to offer bulk discount on KF beer for 2011, while Vijay Mallya gives a Thums Up (much to the happiness of Coca Cola officials), upon learning that roughly 150 thousand bottles of beer were consumed in IPL parties this year? With such numbers, Kat and DP tweeted that Senior Mallya is contemplating a move to name his beard as Kingfisher Beer-ed.

The full course meal is turning out to be an elaborate affair with the IPL cricket itself being only the side dish that one may chose to ignore. The media threatens to let the Shared Power sambhar or some underworld D-aal out the news bags. The common theme is that the rice of Lalit bhai is jaw dropping! Countless stories of favour curry are being distributed for sampling purposes and the survey results from news eaters will determine future courses.

The plot is getting thicker like Knorrs soup and the author of Mahabharata, Vyasa is tweeting from his grave. His position as the ultimate story teller is under threat and a Vyasa fan page is coming up soon in Facebook. Only the Mahabharata had a more intriguing and complex plot with an intricate web of interwoven stories and relationships between its high profile characters. The IPL surely has all the ingredients to compete with the Mahabharata, provided the stories keep getting cooked well by the media houses and reach the masses before their hunger gets filled by some other story like the Nithyananda sleaze etc. [Nithyana + NDA, again, see, how the opposition is relentlessly attacking Congress?!!] Anyway, majority of the public believe that given the profile of people involved in the IPL circus, they might not get the complete satisfaction of digesting the truth behind this annual exhibition. Pranab da is donning the role of a truth fairy and only time will give us at least a partial insight into the details of funding sources, match fixing allegations, betting rackets etc. Getting the names of the organizers of illegal activities would be like searching for the exact location of the rice fields and questioning the farmer who has harvested the rice and grown vegetables that are served on your everyday lunch plate.
Sample this: Mallya’s step daughter is Modi’s secretary. An example of taking the right step to sweat equity?
Let us enjoy while this euphoria lasts and watch Pune and Kochi bid along with the rest for the next round of the IPL. Until then, happy news eating, bon IPL appetit!


2 thoughts on “IPL Mela – a full course meal

  1. GPL – Gaal Pe Laat?
    Seriya padaliye…
    Get uP Late?
    Give Packed Laat?
    Ok, I give up!
    I liked the Vyaasa tweeting from his grave part a lot!!! lol ! very funny post!

    Ranga: GPL is a common slang, translates to Ass pe laat 🙂
    With FB, Buzz, Blog, I am not sure if I would get hooked to Twitter. But looks like it is just a matter of time before tweeting starts as well.
    Thanks, I enjoyed writing this post a lot over the last few days

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