Cricket · random thoughts

Ishant Sharma, my confessions and Vastu Shaastra

As I see a rather cruel ad by Amul, asking Ishant, Sharm hain kya?, I felt rather odd and guilty at what I had done … Let me do a brief flashback. My father and I have been cricket fans ever since I knew him and most of our discussions were around cricket. A big fan of Richards he was … the King was admired for his swagger. But my dad firmly believed that he had an important contribution to make when Kapil Dev held on to that famous catch in the 1983 final. Although my father wasn’t with me, I proudly carried on the tradition when I made my own little contribution to help India beat Sri Lanka in the 2011 WC final.
I have done it many times and am a silent fan, only too happy to let go of the credit that cannot be justified on the basis of logic. No, I am not the one who resorts to desperate prayers when India is playing – that activity used to be reserved for exam and exam result days. I am talking about how I manage the forces around me and create an energy based alignment that comes naturally to me. But alas, there is no scientific formula that can be attached to this phenomenon. When Kohli and Rohit were going hammer and tongs in the chase of 360, I stayed put at a particular spot because I could feel energy that I could magically transmit to the batsmen. Somehow, the ability to do that is strictly a function of the time and day and location. It is therefore evident that sitting in the same place at some other time during some other match will mean nothing. I keep experimenting till something is experienced … and then I know India cannot lose!! Doesn’t happen all the time but keeps happening, maybe Dad was better at controlling this hereditary gift!
Coming to this Ishant topic, I had returned from office and about 20 odd overs were left when I found a nice place to watch the TV. The sort of place that I knew would help me help Dhoni and men win. It was a given. There were 3 overs left and 44 runs to win and I hadn’t even got up to get a glass of water, shamelessly outsourcing that task to my daughter so that India could win. Patriotism of a different kind … maybe you wouldn’t even understand what I am saying! Ishant was about to start running, when mom gave me dinner. I was upset because I had to move from that Energy zone … immediately, the ball went for a six. I struggled to get the rhythm back and couldn’t feed Ishant the positive energies. Helplessly I watched him. In boxing, the referee counts 10 and announces Knock Outs but there was Ishant, knocked out, seeing stars and forced to bowl again, only to get hit for 30 runs. I felt awful, it was all because of my hunger but now that I have confessed, I am fine; confessions do make you feel better at times!!
By the way, ironically Ishant anagrams to Shanti and the only Shanti I see when he bowls nowadays is his non-violent approach that is peaceful for batsmen. So peaceful that it makes batsmen violent in order to follow the Law of Conservation of Peaceful Energies and they go ballistic while hitting his balls (no pun intended!).
Vastu consultants will now need to figure out how exactly to build stadiums so that there is enough positive energy while aligning the panchabhootas: Earth: Magnetic field of the earth; Water: Gravitational attraction of the Earth; Fire: Solar radiation; Air: Wind energy; Space: Cosmic radiation.
Until the next match, you enjoy and let this poor guy enjoy his spoon fed dose of Amul. Dhoni is really (spoon) fed up of you Ishant … take a break! Maybe you need to have a haircut or hire a good Vastu consultant!!

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One thought on “Ishant Sharma, my confessions and Vastu Shaastra

  1. Nice one Ranga. One of the important things to consider in “Vaastu” for Cricket Watching… is the appropriate placement of Loos/Toilets. This is important for the audience to ensure trusted supply of these “positive energies”. The nature’s call should be definitely optimized – more so as people like Ishant come into bowl – as he relentlessly focuses towards his unstated goal of “snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.”

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